Written in 2014, during a period of real financial strain. I am in a very different place now, but I am leaving this essentially as it was.
Being in a Financial Tailspin
Money has a way of getting into your head.
Not just the numbers, but the constant background noise. The mental arithmetic. The quiet dread that follows you around, even when you are trying to focus on something else.
I let things drift for too long. I avoided looking properly because I did not like what I might see. That only made it worse.
The pressure builds slowly at first, then all at once. You start juggling, moving things around. Convincing yourself that it will settle down if you get through the following week.
It does not work like that.
At some point, you have to stop pretending and face the mess you are in, not with panic, but with honesty.
This is uncomfortable to write, but it is necessary. I need to be clear about where I am and how I got here if I want to get out of it.
I am not broke.
I am not destitute.
But I am stretched, stressed, and tired of carrying it silently.
The solution is not dramatic. It is practical.
Look properly.
Make decisions.
Stop guessing.
I do not expect instant fixes. I do expect progress.
This is me drawing a line and taking responsibility for it.