So, here we are. The very last day of 2025, the final hours before we step into 2026 and whatever comes next.
This year began in turmoil, mixed with a creeping sense of dread. My day job was kicking my teeth in. I felt undervalued most of the time and sometimes resented. Not because I was bad at the job, but because I was good at it. A strange thing to discover, and a sad reflection of how work can distort people.
At the same time, my arthritis meant I was living with constant pain. I was still waiting for a date for my total hip replacement. I knew change was coming, but it felt just out of reach. I was frightened, confused, and deeply stressed.
An inherited property became another source of pressure. That is now sorted, thankfully, but at the time, it added to the sense that everything was slightly too much.
By the end of the year, we were exhausted. A close relative passed away, and her absence is still felt. My health was declining, even though help was finally on the horizon.
If I thought 2024 had been difficult, 2025 was going to be a proper ride.
I muddled through at work. There were problems, some of which I may republish here in time. By May, I was on sick leave, waiting for surgery. It finally happened in early June. I was home the next day, on my feet within hours.
Recovery was hard, and not just physically. My physiotherapist suggested I change jobs. He recommended work with movement, variation, and physical engagement.
I had time to think.
By August, an opportunity appeared. I took a chance and applied. They liked me, despite my recent surgery, and offered me the job.
I started at the end of September. The difference has been night and day. I feel valued. I feel cared about. I am no longer in pain. I am home with my family every evening. No weekends. No bank holidays. No Christmas shifts.
I have time again. To write. To make music. To take photographs. To see friends. Maybe even to take a holiday or two.
Despite the state of the world, this New Yearβs Eve feels different.
I feel optimistic.
I do not have to push.
I can just be.
Happy New Year.
This is one of those markers.