Written in 2018.
The overwhelm
It is a strange thing, that feeling of being snowed under.
What strikes me now is how much of that pressure is self-imposed. I am doing a lot. I have started writing again for a motorsport website. I do not get paid for it, but it puts my work in front of a large audience.
Alongside that, I take on bits of design work. I volunteer as a webmaster and club secretary for a motorcycle club. I also volunteer with my sonβs football team. I am competent at all of it, but none of it pays.
That is the tension. If I take a full-time job, I lose the time I need to write. Writing is what I enjoy most. Writing for free feels like a way in, a way to improve, a way to open doors. What appeals to me most is that it can be done from anywhere.
I know I will have to work something out.
Looking back, this reads less like confusion and more like the early stages of choosing a direction.